In the fourth grade, Ted Alexandro (his real name) sat next to Daisy Ramirez (not her real name), the girl he would have a crush on for the duration of his elementary years and beyond. Each school day was gauged on whether or not Daisy adequately acknowledged him (adequate being anything more than incidental eye contact). Most days were met with disappointment but occasionally Ted skipped home after school, buoyed by the certainty that his love for Daisy wasn’t unrequited. However, these moments were fleeting, as Daisy never admitted to liking Ted. To this day, Ted, 30, hasn’t fully gotten over the fact that Daisy didn’t like him (“like” him, like him), which may be why he is still single, living in the same town he grew up in, and telling jokes for a living.